Jo muje SMS nhi krta wo.
Jahil
Ullu
Bewakoof
Stupid
Kammena
Badtammez
Idiot
Zallel
Gdha
Pagal
.
.
To nahi hy per
Kanjoos zaroor hai
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Call an unknown phone number and ask
Bashir hai kya?
She will say " No wrong number".
Again call after five min "Bashir hai kya ?"
She will be reasonably annoyed "no this is wrong number".
Again call "Bashir aa gaya kya"?
She will say "aap ka dimaagh kharaaab hai kya? kyon peechay padday ho?
Again call after five min " Bashir ko phone dena."
She will cry with all gaaleees.
You just drop the phone. and Call after another five min "Main Bashir bol raha hoon,
Mera koi phone to nahi aya
Call an unknown phone number and ask
Bashir hai kya?
She will say " No wrong number".
Again call after five min "Bashir hai kya ?"
She will be reasonably annoyed "no this is wrong number".
Again call "Bashir aa gaya kya"?
She will say "aap ka dimaagh kharaaab hai kya? kyon peechay padday ho?
Again call after five min " Bashir ko phone dena."
She will cry with all gaaleees.
You just drop the phone. and Call after another five min "Main Bashir bol raha hoon,
Mera koi phone to nahi aya
Bashir hai kya?
She will say " No wrong number".
Again call after five min "Bashir hai kya ?"
She will be reasonably annoyed "no this is wrong number".
Again call "Bashir aa gaya kya"?
She will say "aap ka dimaagh kharaaab hai kya? kyon peechay padday ho?
Again call after five min " Bashir ko phone dena."
She will cry with all gaaleees.
You just drop the phone. and Call after another five min "Main Bashir bol raha hoon,
Mera koi phone to nahi aya
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
One rainy day a Sardar was traveling by his new FERRARI car. He was Not
a very good driver and so did not have complete control on it.
Mike Tyson was also riding his bike on the same road. At a speed breaker
Sardar's car came in contact with Tyson's bike.
Tyson got very angry. He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a
Few yards away from the car.
Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted "Hey!! It's not
Easy for you to damage my bike and get away. Now I will be thrashing
Your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your
Car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately" .
Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashed its side indicators.
Then he looked at sardar. Sardar looked at Tyson's sarcastically.
Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked
At sardar. Sardar grinned at Tyson.
Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he
Broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again
Looked at Sardar. Sardar was laughing so hard that he could hardly
stand.
This time Tyson came to Sardar and he told "oh! What is this? I am
Spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it?"
Sardar replied "Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the
circle And you did not notice it!!
a very good driver and so did not have complete control on it.
Mike Tyson was also riding his bike on the same road. At a speed breaker
Sardar's car came in contact with Tyson's bike.
Tyson got very angry. He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a
Few yards away from the car.
Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted "Hey!! It's not
Easy for you to damage my bike and get away. Now I will be thrashing
Your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your
Car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately" .
Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashed its side indicators.
Then he looked at sardar. Sardar looked at Tyson's sarcastically.
Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked
At sardar. Sardar grinned at Tyson.
Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he
Broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again
Looked at Sardar. Sardar was laughing so hard that he could hardly
stand.
This time Tyson came to Sardar and he told "oh! What is this? I am
Spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it?"
Sardar replied "Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the
circle And you did not notice it!!
Three Sardarjis went for a tour to singapore . They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel. After taking rest they started for a local visit.
While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before 10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out.
After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30. Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble.
After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said," I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only".
Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor.
Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story.
The third one said, "I forgot the room key which is on the manager's table".
They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said," I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end".
They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said, " The keys were in my pocket only".
With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor.
After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, " I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only". Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:
....
....
....
....
" This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this".
While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before 10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out.
After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30. Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble.
After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said," I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only".
Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor.
Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story.
The third one said, "I forgot the room key which is on the manager's table".
They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said," I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end".
They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said, " The keys were in my pocket only".
With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor.
After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, " I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only". Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:
....
....
....
....
" This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this".
The Professor's Wife
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter that I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I will be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there a fax was waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband,
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love, do not wait up!
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter that I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I will be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there a fax was waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband,
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love, do not wait up!
When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father would die, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy all the money he would get.
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother!
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother!
At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"
I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"
Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right."
I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"
Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right."
Top 10 reasons computers must be male:
1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
2. A better model is always just around the corner.
3. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
4. It is always necessary to have a backup.
5. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
6. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
7. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
8. The lights are on but nobody's home.
9. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
10. Size does matter.
1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
2. A better model is always just around the corner.
3. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
4. It is always necessary to have a backup.
5. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
6. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
7. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
8. The lights are on but nobody's home.
9. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
10. Size does matter.
Newton 's Laws on Love ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.
First law: A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy.
Second law: The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance.
Third law: The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!
Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.
First law: A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy.
Second law: The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance.
Third law: The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!
A guy phones up his Boss, but picks up the bosses'
wife instead. "I'm sorry he died last week". she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week." The next
day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.
By This time the wife is getting upset and shouts: "I'VE ALREADY
TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!
WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?". "Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "
I just love hearing it.
wife instead. "I'm sorry he died last week". she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week." The next
day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.
By This time the wife is getting upset and shouts: "I'VE ALREADY
TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!
WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?". "Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "
I just love hearing it.
6'2" jiski height ho
Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho
Biwi ka her nakhra uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
Uff tak na kare itna quiet ho
Dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho
Shopping ker ke jab bhi aoon, bolay begum tum kitni nice ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
Mujhay rani bana ker rakhay, to phir zindagi delight ho
Saas sussar ke samne kahay, jaan tum hamesha right ho
Hamesha jo haar maan jaye, jab bhi kabhi fight ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
Jaha chahoon jaoon, jo chahy karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho
Her doosray week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho
Aisa ho jaye to mein urron aasman mein, jaisay ke kite ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho
Biwi ka her nakhra uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
Uff tak na kare itna quiet ho
Dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho
Shopping ker ke jab bhi aoon, bolay begum tum kitni nice ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
Mujhay rani bana ker rakhay, to phir zindagi delight ho
Saas sussar ke samne kahay, jaan tum hamesha right ho
Hamesha jo haar maan jaye, jab bhi kabhi fight ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
Jaha chahoon jaoon, jo chahy karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho
Her doosray week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho
Aisa ho jaye to mein urron aasman mein, jaisay ke kite ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
Apni aaisee wife ho,.
5'6" jiski height ho,
Jeans tight tight ho,
Chehra jiska bright ho,
Umar 22 se 27 ho,
Aise apni Wife ho.
Sadak per sab kaheN kya cute ho,
Bhir me sab kaheN side ho, side ho,
Pindi, Islamabad ya Peshawar ki paidaish ho,
Sas ki khidmat jiski khwahish ho
Aisi apni Wife ho.
Padosi jab baat karay to haath me knife ho,
Dinner ke waqt candle light ho,
Ham me tum me kabhi na koi fight ho,
Milnay ke baad dil delight ho,
Aise apni Wife ho.
5'6" jiski height ho,
Jeans tight tight ho,
Chehra jiska bright ho,
Umar 22 se 27 ho,
Aise apni Wife ho.
Sadak per sab kaheN kya cute ho,
Bhir me sab kaheN side ho, side ho,
Pindi, Islamabad ya Peshawar ki paidaish ho,
Sas ki khidmat jiski khwahish ho
Aisi apni Wife ho.
Padosi jab baat karay to haath me knife ho,
Dinner ke waqt candle light ho,
Ham me tum me kabhi na koi fight ho,
Milnay ke baad dil delight ho,
Aise apni Wife ho.
One American, one Japanese and Banta Singh were sitting naked in the sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
The American pressed his arm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him
questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear and spoke
briefly into it.
When he finished he explained, "That was mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
Banta Singh felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do
something just as impressive.
He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper
hanging from his backside.
The others raised their eyebrows...!
"Will you look at that," said
Banta Singh. "I'm getting a fax!"
Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
The American pressed his arm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him
questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear and spoke
briefly into it.
When he finished he explained, "That was mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
Banta Singh felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do
something just as impressive.
He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper
hanging from his backside.
The others raised their eyebrows...!
"Will you look at that," said
Banta Singh. "I'm getting a fax!"
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge
Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi
Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge
Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi
Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Saturday, June 6, 2009
How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???Monday, June 1, 2009
Once Sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar.
His Tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.
Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.
Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs.900.
Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. For which Sardar bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost. "Our Sardar asked whether he will give two."
His Tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.
Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.
Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs.900.
Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. For which Sardar bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost. "Our Sardar asked whether he will give two."
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